Welcome back to another edition of Caring About Sex and Disability.

Well, it’s that time of year again, my friends; 3 December. If you are disabled, you know what this day is about: the day where we celebrate disabled people, and we talk about all their achievements while simultaneously standing up for their rights. It is such an important day of remembrance and commemoration of the disabled community, but if I am really honest with you dear readers, I wish the day was just a little bit… sexier. Let me explain down below.

1. Why Can’t We Have Sexy Parades on IDPwD?

Every year, 3 December comes around and we see disabled influencers making posts, or heads of state talking about the seriousness of this day, that it feels, at least to me, like every ounce of fun has been zapped and depleted out of what this day could be for us all. Instead of having some boring old white guys read speeches about experiences they’ve never had, why not have sexy parades that showcase just how hot disabled people are? Close your eyes and picture this: wouldn’t it be awesome if every year in every town worldwide, there was a huge sexy party full of disabled people? I’m picturing disabled people everywhere in various sexy costumes, with ramps and attendant care and make-out sessions with wheelchair users. Wouldn’t it be memorable to have a show-stopping sexy party every year that would give disabled people the chance to embrace their sluttier sides too? Just a thought.

2. The Sexiest Disabled Person of the Year

When my sister and I were working on our startup company all about sex toys and disability (RIP Bump’n), one of the things that we did to disrupt the narrative and put disabled people front and centre was to create our own Sexiest People covers showcasing different disabled folks. Wouldn’t it be awesome if, every year on 3 December, all the big magazines picked their sexiest disabled person? That way, it would keep disability within the public conscience (because it feels like disability is ALWAYS forgotten) for more than 24 hours. Disabled people could also use the press from these days to make tangible pushes for access and inclusion. Wouldn’t it be cool to see The Sexiest Disabled Person of the Year at your local event advocating alongside you? That’d be so hot.

3. Health Care Providers Can Talk about Sex and Disability on This Day

This one might be a little different, but let’s try something here. As disabled people, we all know that our health care providers don’t talk about sex and disability enough (except for the CareRehab team; they talk about it heaps!). Health care providers are usually unsure about how to address the topic, and as we know, the sexual questions clients may have go unanswered. Maybe on the International Day of People with Disabilities (IDPwD), all physios, OTs, speechies, social workers, doctors, and nurses have full permission to ask questions about their clients’ sexual lives and access needs (with consent, of course). I know that one might sound silly, but the topic is so vastly underrepresented in allied health and nursing courses that this could help us to at least start somewhere, right?

4. Porn Studios Must Feature Disabled Talent on This Day

One of the ways that we could make IDPwD pop is to have every major adult film studio work with a disabled porn star (we are out there, trust me) to create hot content that didn’t fetishise disabled people but celebrated their bodies instead. When I made my adult film six years ago, people commented that they enjoyed it because they so rarely saw stuff like it in mainstream porn (what they really meant was, “we didn’t realise disabled people could f*ck”). If every major studio released a sexy adult film featuring a disabled person on this day, the archaic conversations about sex and disability might actually start to shift.

5. Every Restaurant Has to Be Accessible on 3 December

One of the sexiest ways that IDPwD could be sexy is if every restaurant was mandated to be accessible. That way every disabled person could go on a date with someone or have a nice meal with a potential flame. So many disabled people (myself included) don’t have sexy dates, or the lead-up to a sexy date, because of the inaccessibility of so many restaurants. If all restaurants had to be accessible by 3 December, it might even change the way we see access as an afterthought too.

I know that some of this list is pie-in-the-sky ideas and the logistics don’t always make sense here, but I just wanted to do something that was a departure from our typical dry understanding of this day and spice it up for you folks. I hope I did that today. Have a great, sexy IDPwD friends!

Andrew Gurza